Days 64-70 of My Journey- 5/17- 5/23

I had another great week with my workouts. I continue to train and work toward my 5k race. This may not sound like a big deal to some people, but to me it represents a huge challenge and I know I will feel a huge sense of accomplishment and pride after I run the race.

I also joined a new gym that is opening in my local area. It is a brand new facility, has much more to offer than my current gym, and is about half of the price than I am currently paying. I can't wait to try it out once it opens in June.

My blog entries so far have mainly focused on my workouts. As I have stated previously, I really thought that the exercise was going to be my biggest challenge in this weight loss journey. How wrong I was!!

For me, the diet/nutrition part of this process is my biggest nemesis. Over the course of many years, I have developed a very unhealthy relationship with food. I don't simply eat to live. I also eat when I am feeling sad, happy, stressed, anxious, bored, etc... There really isn't an occasion or emotion that doesn't make me want to eat. This is a constant battle every single day. Unfortunately, when I feel like overeating I don't crave healthy foods. I am usually craving some type of fast food or pizza and lots of it.

In order to get on the road to real success, I needed to learn different coping skills that didn't involve food. Depending on the particular situation, I use different strategies. The most common one is prayer because I can pray no matter where I am or what I am doing. I have also given myself a manicure because it feels nice, but also it's pretty hard to cook or eat when your nails are wet with polish! At other times, I read a book, play a few games on my Wii or Nintendo DS (again, keeping my hands occupied). The bottom line is, I had to learn alternate coping skills to avoid overeating.

Also, I continue to take a real hard look at myself to figure out what has caused me to develop such unhealthy habits in the first place. One of the major problems I had was that I did not love myself enough or have enough confidence to avoid/change my unhealthy ways. It is not always pretty when you peel back the layers of your life and examine the emotions and experiences that have led you to develop certain habits and coping skills. It is not an easy process, but a necessary one. I think that once you really get to the root of these issues, you can then feel empowered to change them.

I have never been a fan of Sex and the City, but came across this quote from the show. It speaks volumes to me about the journey I have been taking to learn to love myself again.

"The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well that's just fabulous."

I am so incredibly proud of how far I have come physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I feel the need to publicly acknowledge Joe. I would not be where I am today without you. Not only on this weight loss journey, but also in my career change, and many other things as well. Thank you for always believing in me, encouraging me, and loving me even though I didn't always deserve it. You are truly one of a kind and I am so thankful for the privilege of having you and the girls in my life. You are such a blessing to me and you continue to teach me so much about life and love. I will always be grateful.